Confidentiality for Pastors - A New Pathway to Spiritual Equilibrium
Gethsemane Moment
Gethsemane: Oil press, a place of great mental or spiritual suffering. 
Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.  Then saith he unto them, my soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.  And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, what, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.
And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. and he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me. And while he yet spake, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priest and elders of the people. Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying, whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he: hold him fast. And forthwith he came to Jesus, and said, hail, master: and kissed him. And Jesus said unto him, friend, wherefore art thou come? Then came they, and laid hands on Jesus and took him (Matthew 26:36-50).
A moment arrives when you are standing on the precipice of critical choice, and if you don't make the right choice, your life will be swallowed up in the great abyss of of hell's certain kiss.
Either you are going to serve the Lord God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul or you are not.  Either you are going to spend eternity in His presence or you are not.  At the end of the day, that will be the most crucial decision of your life. 
It is the pivotal point of your will verses God's will.  Jesus showed us how to do it.  Go through the suffering and pain, get to the other side of death and receive your reward directly from the hand of God. 
The other side of death is the place where your will dies completely, so much so that you live and breathe the will of God. 
Nothing else matters very much.  Because if you are not in the will of God life ceases to have much meaning, and becomes a wasteland of despair.
Often times walking with God is like moving in a dense fog, you can't see but a few feet in front of you, and you dare not move too fast lest you be found stumbling over the cliff of stupidity. 
Patience is the key to following God, because, like Abraham, who walked by faith, so must we, even though we do not know where God is leading us, still like lost lambs we follow Him because we trust Him, that He has our best interest in mind.
As we follow God we will find ourselves experiencing seemingly multiple Gethsemane moments, those times when we are weary with fighting a fight that never seems to end, where your enemies faces are those who you love.
What do you do when Judas arrives on your doorstep with betrayal in his heart, and kisses you on the cheek with an imitation smile on his face? 
Well, you open the door and let him in, because Judas is a part of your life, destined by God to be the catalyst that will propel you into your purpose.  At some point, you may not like Judas very much, but he is a necessary actor in the play called "Your Life."
So, greet Judas with a smile, and try not to scare him away by revealing to him that you know exactly what's in his heart.  Nor turn him from his purpose in your life, because, as difficult as it  may be to smile and conduct yourself in a friendly manner in Judas' presence, his necessity in your life is the paramount concern.
Often times you may find yourself surrounded by several people wearing a Judas-like face, horror of horrors, but it occurs all the time, especially, if God has spoken a prophecy over you life. 
If the first Judas didn't succeed in destroying God's purpose for your life, Satan will send another, and unrelentingly, others, because he never wearies in trying to circumvent God's word and his will, all to no avail, nevertheless, he keeps on trying, the object being to wear you down. 
But, as a child of God, God will have taught you by then, to run into Him and acquire the spiritual strength you need to make it through your trials.  God will refresh your spirit without fail, giving you the strength to keep walking through the fog of his holy will towards the destination He has foreordained specifically for you.
The closer you get to God the more you become a Judas magnet.  Every time you look up you find yourself staring Judas in the face.  And you become very good at presenting the facade of ignorance to Judas, and you can't quite figure out why Judas doesn't know that you knew who he was from the beginning because God revealed it to you. The face of Judas can be either male or female, a brother, a sister, a mother, a father, or even a child that you brought into this world. 
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10-34-38).
So you had to bite your tongue and let Judas do what God created him to do, betray you, wound you, all in the name of 30 pieces of silver. 
There is nowhere to go when you are experiencing a Gethsemane moment, but to God, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Lay your head on his shoulder and mourn the loss, but keep moving forward in his will.
As you walk closer and closer to God you may find yourself bereft of friends, alone talking to God and partaking in mountain top experiences.  And if you're not careful God will change your name, and that's when you know something magnificent is up.  You may not know what that something is right away, but as time goes by, and since you have no one to communicate with on a truly intimate level but God, He begins to show you where He's leading you, to your own specific Promised Land. 
It is a place where miracles happen.  It is a place where you are transformed into a new creature, and you become unrecognizable to yourself because you've changed so much on the inside that it begins to reflect itself on the outside, and you wonder why no one seems to understand that you are not the same person you were 30 years ago.
When God begins to define for you the sacrifice that you must lay on the alter of obedience, you simply yield to his wisdom even though you can't see the totality of the sacrifice.  If God shows us the crucifixion on the cross too far in advance we won't understand, nor see its necessity, and our knees will get wobbly.  That's why the sacrifice is gradually revealed so that by the time you realize what it entails, you are spiritually, emotionally and physically ready to endure it, and accept is as part of your life.  Your required sacrifice becomes one with you, and you are ultimately defined by it, just as Jesus Christ was defined by the cross.  His purpose was to die as a living sacrifice on the cross of His obedience to God, the Father.  Your ultimate sacrifice, which is your purpose, will change the world.  That is why Satan and his imps fight you so hard.  He is trying to hold onto to his illegitimate kingdom on this earth, a kingdom that was doomed to failure before God created time. 
There are multiple levels of sacrifice, and unfortunately many Christians never reach the pinnacle of their own sacrifice.  They flake out on the journey, ignoring the will of God, and sit in churches, the backslidden ones, dead inside, having aborted their purpose in life, and in its place a strange, peculiar, evil entity has moved in and taken over their house, which was created to be the temple of God.  The backslidden ones are dangerous and bitter, and will be the worst enemies you will ever encounter.  They will hate you because you are fulfilling your purpose in life, whereas they have suffocated theirs in the hot, sandy wilderness of disobedience, and there is nothing left for them but death and judgment. These are they who have been summarily rejected by God.  These are they who are of the infamous household of Satan, the fallen archangel, who preposterously thought to usurp the Kingdom of God, was abruptly evicted from heaven.
There are several Gethsemane moments that arise as the years pass by, crossroads more or less, where you make the decision to continue on the journey, because when you look behind you there is nothing to go back to, because God, in His infinite wisdom, has removed every safe haven you might accidently run to, He has overturned all your previous realities and revealed them to be but dust in your hands, so you really have no alternative but to go forward with God, because where else can you go?  What else can you do?  You must walk past the death of a loved one.  You must walk pass homelessness.  You must walk pass hunger.  You must walk pass abusive treatment.  You must walk pass lies.  You must walk pass unfairness.  You must walk pass loss of material possessions.  You must walk pass friendlessness.  You must walk pass rejection.  You must walk pass failure. You must walk pass the wounds delivered by those that you love, and keep walking towards God in the light of His divine, everlasting love.
God has invested so much time, care, and love into you in order to redefine you in His spiritual image, that to hesitate would be highly ungrateful and dangerous to your eternal and natural life.  God can take you so far over into Himself that if you turn away from Him, He won't let Satan destroy you, He will destroy you Himself.  The children of Israel comes to mind.  They wandered in circles in the wilderness of their disobedience until they all died except the two who obeyed God.  
Thousands upon thousands of hard-hearted people dead just one step away from their miracle. I suspect he kept them alive long enough to give birth to a new generation to replace themselves as they began to die in the wilderness according to the word of the Lord.  40 years is time enough for an army of babies to be born.  Saul also comes to mind.  God stripped him of his kingship because of disobedience, and made David King over Israel.  By and by Saul died, his legacy destroyed.
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