Confidentiality for Pastors - A New Pathway to Spiritual Equilibrium
A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth. He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord. Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy. These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:12-19).

For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: it hath no stalk; the bud shall yield no meal: if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up (Hosea 8:7).

The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet (Nahum 1:3).
An Exceptional
Introductory Point
In God's deepest anger He will answer a bad prayer.*  He will give you the thing that you asked Him for to your own destruction, simple to teach you a lesson that He is God, that He knows what He is doing, and that He knows what's best for you even more than you do.
For example, if you ask God to show you who your wife is, and then you reject her, and ask God instead for another woman more appealing to you, then you have stepped into la-la land.
* I read this in a book I bought for ten cents at a library book sale many years ago.  I don't remember the title or author of the book, and I have since given it away to the Salvation Army with a load of other books.  It was a profound statement that caused me to understand a very painful time in my life.
Satan Lied to Eve
Satan was after something, the eternal soul of humanity, and but for the saving grace of God, he would have succeeded. 
Consequently, death entered into the equation of human history. 
That critical sense of what is right and what is wrong is embedded into the fabric of every essence of our being, and cannot be denied, unless a man's conscience has been seared with a hot iron, his sins having drowned his ability to reason.  
Reason gives a man the ability to determine what he should and should not do.  Reason helps you to determine clear boundary lines that should not be crossed under any circumstances whatsoever.
It's called the common sense factor, without which, man seems to slip into silliness, doing everything he imagines, which is born from the darkness of his mind.
Sin turns the light off , and the darkness prevails, and that darkness guides hapless individuals into the bowels of hell.
Eve wanted to believe Satan's lie.  No doubt she ignored that loud warning bell ringing in her mind that was trying to tell her that she was going down the wrong pathway, a pathway that was headed directly into certain peril.
It wasn't enough that she fell into Satan's trap, but she led her husband into the darkness of sin.  Men, specifically pastors and men in church leadership positions, this is why you just don't marry any woman, no matter how beautiful and desirable she may be. 
If you make the wrong selection you just may have a fallen Eve on your hands.  And she will lead you away from the purpose that God has for your life.  By the time you wake up from your delusions you will have suffered great loss, and have to backtrack to the point where you married the wrong woman, a woman who caused to stumble into sin.  Samson and Delilah comes to mind.
In truth, a wife comes from the Lord and requires a sacrifice on the part of the man.  Adam lost his rib.  Be assured before God will give you the best that He has He will require of you a sacrifice.  Now what that sacrifice will be, no doubt, will be determined by God.  God did not ask Adam for his rib, He simply took it. 
There is a difference between a wife and a woman.  There are a world full of women, but within that number are but few wives.  And the only way you will obtain so rare a jewel is directly from the hand of God.  You must seek a wife from the Lord, and not trust your own ability to choose what is best for you. 
What is the will of God for you as it relates to a wife?  How much time have you spent in the presence of the Lord inquiring?
Or are you just simply keeping a look out, hoping to see someone that appeals to you enough to make an effort to obtain her for yourself.
Often until you get to a place in God where it really doesn't matter whether you have a wife or not, until celibacy is just a way of life with you, there is really no need for further discussion on the matter. 
Once God reveals to you who He has chosen for you, trust Him that He knows what He is doing, and except his choice for you.  To not do so will cause you to put your purpose in jeopardy, if not completely abort it.  And then what will you have?  What will your life be like without God's purpose moving you forward to fulfillment?
Most men look at women without differentiating them from what a wife is.  Not every woman is a wife. Conversely, not every man is a husband. There is a distinct difference between a man and a husband.  A husband has God at the center of his life.  Everything that he is and will be is proceeds from the will of God for his life. 
He has unequivocally submitted his whole life to God, and will serve God with or without a wife.  His relationship with God is not based on whether God has given him a wife, it is based on his unwavering love for the Lord.
So Christian ladies, no matter how attractive, wealthy, or appealing the man may be, if God is not the center of his life, and God has not revealed to you that He has indeed chosen that particular man for you, run, don't walk, in the opposite direction.  It is a sad situation to be married to the wrong man, and often this is not discoverable until after you are married him.
Before a woman can receive a husband from the Lord she has to allow God to make her, to build her from the essence of the man he has chosen for her.  God places in the woman what the man desires, conversely, God places in the man what the woman desires.   Only God truly know what causes our happiness factor to multiply.
The snake was cursed.  Satan was judged.  Eve suffered pain in childbirth, and was made subject to her husband.  The ground was cursed with "thorns and thistles" and Adam had to work in the fields and grow food because he listened to Eve and disobeyed God.  The question then is where was Adam while Satan was seducing Eve into sin?
So, Adam and Eve spiraled downward from eternal existence into dust. 
When God gives a man a wife she will always come with the purpose of God attached to her, like a banner waving in the breeze, an unmistakable sign that can be easily read and understood.
You cannot go wrong in accepting God's creative gift.  Unrefined men think so because they are listening to the voice of their own inadequacies, which invariably steer them off course and into dangerous waters.
The hidden layers covering God's choice of a bride for a man are there for a purpose, and that purpose generates profound warfare between the groom and the bride's enemies with the angels of God. 
Consequently, if you have chosen a bride and she falls ever so easily into your arms, without you first engaging in the most horrific spiritual battle of your life, then it's safe to conclude that what you have selected is none other than a bride from Satan's harem, and she will undoubtedly be the cause of your utter destruction.
Men generally tiptoe lightly upon a woman not really discerning the importance of selecting the right woman.  Therein lie his most critical error. 
If you are a wealthy, established pastor, for instance, and you have decided upon your bride, and you are gradually becoming acquainted with her, and as time passes, her birthday arrives or Christmas arrives, and you want to know what she would like as a gift, so you ask her what she wants. 
First of all, it is usually a mistake to ask a woman what she would like as a gift because that implies that whatever she asks you for that you are fully capable of obtaining it for her. 
So if she asks you for a 20 ct white diamond necklace and earring set, don't be stunned into silence, just gracefully go out and purchase the thing, and know that what you have is a Delilah on your hands.
But if instead she asks for a bouquet of red roses because flowers are her favorite thing, then most likely what you have is God's will for your life, because her focus is not on the expensive things that money can buy, but clearly on the will of God.
And please don't ever give a woman a credit card with U.P.P. (Unlimited Purchasing Power), unless you trust her implicitly to not be stupid. 
If you are foolish enough to do so, and you are standing there witnessing her unsuccessfully trying to put her glee in check, so you won't realize your error before she quickly flees out the door, heading swiftly for the shopping mall, laughing to herself all the way, then  perhaps reconsideration of your bride choice is in order, if it's not already too late, and all you're left with is the screech of her tires as she proceeds hastily down the street. 
An uncut diamond is not very beautiful, but once it is cut and polished it is quite exquisite.  A man often doesn't select an uncut diamond for a bride because what he wants is flawless perfection up front.
A really good faux diamond looks just like a real diamond, and it would take a diamond expert to discern the difference.  Once a man selects his faux diamond, having rejected and discarded the real thing, he soon discovers his mistake, and by then he is on the track towards destruction. 
He has arrogantly jumped off the cliff of wrong decision based on his senses or Delilah's sexual appeal, and all that await him are the jagged rocks of regret. 
In other words, a man cannot search out the heart of a woman, but God can because God is not focusing on the unimportant, the pretty trinket, the delectable arm candy, or the attitude that all my friends will envy me when they see my beautiful wife. 
But God knows the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Only you will know after the fact that your beautiful bride is corrupt within, hiding many flaws, and she doesn't even have an intimate relationship with God.  She is an unmade woman!  She may or may not be saved, but whatever the case may be, God is not finished with her yet.  She is not yet a wife, but just another woman in the masses.   When God gives you the gift of a wife He has brought her to the point of completion, not perfection.
Most in general when a pastor selects the wrong bride she was positioned before him and thrust upon him by Satan, who uses fallen women to snare God's anointed ones.  So pastors, don't be foolish! 
The same scenario stands for women waiting for God to give them a husband.  Don't listen to Satan's lies because you really desire a particular man, and he ends up causing you to spiral down into hell's formidable embrace because you didn't patiently wait on God.
A wife from the Lord is intellectually appealing, and her spirit will be one with your spirit.  The God in you will instantly began to communicate with the God in her. 
Conversely, a wife from Satan will firstly be sexually appealing to you because you are focused on the pretty package.  Sexual expression as God intended, results from knowing and liking the woman, and then loving her, from which comes the true expression of love and oneness. 
A woman can be sexually appealing because of her exquisite beauty, but Proverbs 11:22 says, "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion." 
A wife from the Lord demonstrates the following qualities: carefulness, good judgment, good sense, caution, maturity, diplomacy, expertise, insight, intelligence, responsibility, discrimination, perception, discernment, sensitivity, and forethought.
True beauty is a hidden jewel.  Never fear, I seriously doubt that God will bless you with a woman that you will not desire sexually, it's just that that cannot be the initial primary factor.
An Aside
A woman who shops excessively is trying to fill a void in her life, and or she sees the things that she buys as representing who she is. 
Her identity is wrongly dependent on what she wears, and how she looks because at some point in her life she has been severely wounded, and has not allowed God to heal her wounds, thereby eradicating the need to shop to gain some measure of fulfillment, even if temporarily.
Eve's sin is that she wanted to believe Satan's lie, she wanted what the lie offered her; knowledge.  But at some point in the unfolding debacle, after having eaten the forbidden fruit, she had to distinguish the truth from the lie, and in full knowledge of her shame and nakedness, she seduced Adam to follow her into a fallen spiritual nature. I wonder at which point did Adam realize the true condition of his wife?  Before he disobeyed God or after?
Satan and all his minions fight against a man and a woman who loves the Lord with all their hearts to keep them from becoming one, or marrying, because a twofold cord is not so easy to break.   When one is weak the other will be strong, deriving strength from one another. 
Single men and women are easier prey for Satan because of the sex, loneliness, and companionship factors, until they learn to pour themselves into the hand of God, letting Him be everything to them, filling their emptiness with himself through His Holy Spirit, thereby annulling the need for sex, dispelling loneliness and being a companion to them. 
If and until God blesses a man or a woman with a mate they must remain celibate. Consequently, if Satan can get them to slip and slide in the sex arena, including masturbation, if they don't quickly recover from their sin, he will snare their eternal souls.
That's why he stands between the two, waging a ferocious war against them because once that cord is entwined he has lost his greatest weapon against them; the lure into sexual sin and promiscuity. 
After the two become one in spirit, mind and body, in that order, Satan's options to snare their souls dwindle considerably.  His attack then comes from other directions.  He will try to chip away at the foundation of trust between the two with lies, his evil concoction.  He will try to steer the couple into sexual perversions of one sort or another; leftover remnants of their past echoing in the hallow halls of holy matrimony.
Satan never tires of trying to undercut what God has created.  Only wisdom through the knowledge of God, and intimate relationship with Him will succor the union.
A man does not gain a wife from the Lord without fighting for her.  Either he wants her that bad or he doesn't.  And as previously mentioned, a sacrifice is required, and that sacrifice will always be in the area of the man's weakness.
For example, if the man has a problem with excessive pride or cares overly about what others think of him, God's required sacrifice will be in those areas.  A man should search himself to discover areas of weakness and know without a doubt that God will be searching microscopically, and requiring him to obey him concerning his shortcomings.
No matter how strong the bridge may appear to be, or how mighty it may be, all it takes is one significant area of weakness to bring the whole structure down. 
And God is not going to place his rare jewel on a structure that will crumble under duress.  All areas must be tried and tested, and if you pass the test of your strength and willingness to change in order to accommodate a true bride from the Lord, then you will be a very, very happy man, and a happy groom is better able to keep his bride happy as well.
To be continued...
Abraham lied to the Pharaoh and Abimelech. Sarah lied to God.  Jacob lied to Isaac.  Isaac lied to Abimelech.  The sons of Jacob lied to Jacob their father.  Laban lied to Jacob.  Potifar's wife lied to him.  Rahab lied to the men at Jericho.  Saul lied to David.  Michal lied to Saul her father.  Sapphira and Ananias lied to Peter.
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